The BBT5....Live Canookie Bloggage...for yer squashage

OK....so this live blog series of the BBT5 has turned into Knockout recaps. NO....not even the hand/beat that respective players have been knocked out by. They are simply my way of contributing  giving back..or is it giving it to the poker blogger community. Whatever it is...it is meant to be taken completely seriously......and you should be utterly insulted by the way I make fun of your poker screen names that you have selected to represent yourselves. You should also punch yourself in the face multiple times while wearing a snugly fit cheese grater that you may have purchased from your sick and twisted past torture fetish. I hope that nobody has an aversion to run on sentences either as I blog in my stream-of-consciousness style and Knockout insult goodness. That sentence made no sense as I am overly tired from working harder than ever. So back by popular demand is the livebloggageknockoutbuttbongofiestaCanookieMookieBBT5-OonCincoDeMayOOOOO.

Kudos to my daughter who turned 5 years old today. Yes that is right...she was born on 5-5-05 and she turned 5 on 5-o de May-o. Pretty effin cool huh?

THE BRUINS WIN....THE BRUINS WIN....THE BRUINS WIN...THE BRUINS WIN!
Sorry philly....these are not the Broad street bullies of old.....not even close!

Away we gooo........10:00 PM ET : I am drinking Bud Select 55, Bud Light and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.....LOL at that. 99 entries in all...we can't get 100?

Starting table shot :

Knockouts :  Bone_Daddy84.....DoneDaddyDone! Gigli!
                   MrBugaDog......BuggaONOUTTAHEYAAAA!
                   fuzzidrawers........what else needs to be said....his memory is fuzzy though!
                   Katitude......the Kitty has littered all her chips in somebody elses stack! Somehow...Kat got knocked out but continued to move up the ranks...huh? Officially 89th
                  
                  
                  
Holy Shit....a mouse just scurried across my fucking floor....jezuz fucking christ what the fuck is that stupid cat of ours doing?.....

Knockouts : The fucking mouse that my cat couldn't kill....BOOOOOM...I step on YOU!
                   cracknaces.........Caracked and Stuhacked!
                  KeepFloppin.......KeepTryin!
                  Rake Feeder....the master of the Foxwoods bellyflop is acutally Fake Reader!
                  InstantTragedy......InstantSeanage....
                  cmitch........now you cmitch.....now you don't cmitch!
                  heffmike.....StackedMike
                  BuddyDank.......BuddyStank'd!!
                  AUDITOR NURSE....Open up and say....

Ooooooo I just took a huge pot with 2 pair flopped and my A-Qo>A-Ko

Knockouts :  Columbo......get a CLUE! and keep your stack TOO!
                    niktak....niktak paddywhack....give your stack to a poker hack!
                   Santa555.....All was quiet throughout the Mookie and Santa555 got stacked and lost his Cookie!
                    PinkyStinky.....StackyGotTakey
                    BadBlood.......BadBeat....probably....
                    Joanne1111......Joannada from Canada lost her stackada to a Manada! She is also not pregnant!

Ouch.....AA.....Shabazz Jenkins had JJ and a flop of 8-J-8....I push...he calls and I turn an Ace! Crazy stuff....sorry about that one.


Knockouts :  Shabazz Jenkins.....takes a bad beat from yours truly...he trapped my ass with a full house and I pushed with Aces...and of course turned an ace. Bad Beat!
                   Pig2Pen.....Stack2SomebodyElse!
                   NYRambler......Ramblo on my man...it is because you are a NYJets fan!
                   DakotaBlock......DakotaStacked....North to South baby...Dakota that is!
                   Hoyazo.......HoyStackedYO!

I am currently in 2nd place of 77 left and about to go on break....

11:00 PM ET :  2nd of 76 remaining
This past weekend we suffered the WATERPOCALYPSE in the Boston and Greater Boston area. Yes...a huge water main broke and 2 million plus had to boil water and  buy bottled water etc. It turned out to be a giant hoax that panicked over 2 million people. I took showers anyway....and I have some sort of stomach bug. WTF???

Knockouts :  JWG277....JustWhatGaveyourchipsaway27perhaps?
                   snowelle30...SnO-ohwelll....SnoOWELLL...ur chips have all gone to Hell!
                   ravensfutbal......Chips are NEVERMORE....NEVERMORE!
                   photojenn.......ChiposGONE!
                   Mike_Maloney......StackedMaPwndy!
                   NumbBono.......DumbStackedYo
                   MorningThunder......StackedAsunder....
                   bayne_s......been_stacked!
                   veryjosie....verystackie'd
                   sellthekids.....Don'tBetTheHouse!
                   ChampSampson......Unfortunately he met O.J. Limpsin!
                   iaatg6296......ItsAllAboutTheGONE!!!

Oooooo....I just flopped a set of Jacks and took out mclarich......

Knockouts : Wheelz78.......Rollin.....Rollin....Knocked out on the Riiiiverrrrrr!
                   jamyhawk......flyme......StackedRageous!
                   Maniac57.......the Spite Call is Bad Y'allllllllll!
                   Loretta8......LorettaL8ter!
                   asphnxma.....SansStackma!
                   Misterd2U.......MisterDeadStack2U!
                   wolfshead.....Little 'ol wolfies stack got mutilated late last night!
                   BamBamCan.....BamBamCanGoToBedRightNowOrDrinkAScotchOnME!
                   mclarich........mcstackedich!
                   Stebe65......Stacked55!
                   RNallin..........BendOverandGetStacked!
                   Bruno75........My name is Bruno!....How ghey is that? you are Bruno53
                   Corron10......StackGone52!
                   Kajagugu.......KajaGONEGONE!
                   SuitedKings....BrokebackMounted!
                   shockin.........and chagrined! Out 49th!
                   TuscaloosaJohn.......is....well....TuscaloosaGOOOOONNNNNE!
                   ues61......U Exactly Stacked at 47!
                   TripJax.......ChipStaxed!
                   MrsFrogger.........Splat! Out 45th!
                   Rakewell........NotFinishWell!
                   Negrealanu.......NegrealaNOT!
                  
Apparently the RedSox win as well.....woohoo! 2nd Break coming up......

12:00 AM ET : 11th of 42 left......

Knockouts : xkm1245.......U have seat already U go now!
                  -o-lucktruck-o-.....-o-Stacked-o-
                  JOELPOKERGOD......blahhahahahahahahahaahahaaa
                  dawnsummers......Someone left their stack out....and it got drainnnnnned!
                  MemphisMojo......Don'tGetStackedYo!
                  NewinNov........GoneinMay!
                  Thorn In Side.......Chips Are Not By Your Side
                  MiamiDon........is....well.....MiamiGOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
                  Unimpressed........Unchipstacked!
                  wwonka69........VerucaSalted and out 33rd!
                  forthebaby......dontthrowthechipsoutwiththebathwaterbaby!
                  Frogger........FroggerBlogger met a Chipstack hogger!
                  El Patron 420......El ChipsGone at 12:20!
                  Blinders......Finder Keepers Chipstack Sweepers!
                  digdav1967....chipsgone28!
                  TheMan2484......StackGone24nevermore
                  adamsapple19.......yappledapple ur chips are crapple!
                  Astin.....25th is better than last'n
                  DeepChitNJ.....SmallStackGoAwayyyyyy!
                  stl_phily.....Bad_Floppy!
                  lightning36......Who can take chipstackkkkkk....and make it go awayyyyyy!...who can make a stacky stack go across the table fast....the CandyMan cannnnnnnnnn.....the CandyMan cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

                  ooosssuuu754.......OllStackedUp and Out!
                  muhctim......ChipsSlim!
                  GCox25......Apparently GCox19!
                  ms_scary......Chips Scarse-y
                 
I am 15th of 17 left............

Knockouts : pushmonkey72........Stacked by a ChipsJunky!
                   1Queens Up1.......pvandonkibo'd!
                   DaBag........DaChips are in Da other persons hands!
                   ShipFaced12......ShippedChips14th!
                   VBPro7......VeryBadPoker7!
                  
3rd Break coming up....I am the shortstack at the tables.

1:00 AM ET.......Bubble Trubble? So tired and sick Ah-Kh....all in......

Knockouts :  edgie212.......lost his edge and is out ....actually edgie12!
                   Chippy McStacks......Stacky McGawwwwwwwwwwn!
                    pvandonkibo has over 100k more than anybody else.......
                   good fucking grief....I call all in with A-7o and she has AA now....FML! I am bubble boy.......work is gonna be funnnnnnnnn tomorrow!