Fiddlesticks

Watch the hilarious Tuff_Fish video and you'll understand the post title...
I miss Party Pokers cash games....but when I need a laugh I look to Tuff_Fish...LOL



Then this one just makes me piss myself....



Edit :

Forgot about this....I played the first one and it was insane...I think there was over 4000 rebuys or something. I probably won't be playing this one due to the fact I can't stay up until 4:00AM so enjoy.......

4 years?

Holy Crap....I've been posting for 4 years....crazy....that is all......

Edit :

I should have added this before the end the holidays and the end of the year but this is hilarious...

Poker – how and when to bluff

Bluffing is one of the hardest but most important and fundamental aspects of poker. If you don’t ever bluff in poker then there is no way you will be a successful poker player,you can learn much about this in a poker school. Having said this, it’s also important to remember that bluffing requires you to have sense, timing and guts otherwise you won’t pull the bluff off. When you are caught bluffing, it can be frightening or embarrassing, but when you get away with it, it can be exciting and rewarding. When you play in a poker tournament or for fun with the same group of people regularly, you may start to spot patterns in their behaviour when they are bluffing or have a good hand. This behaviour is called a ‘tell'. A ‘tell’ is when you do something without even realising that you are doing it, and it gives away to the people you are playing against what your hand is. Some one may always go very quiet when they have a strong hand, or talk a lot when they are bluffing.They might always jiggle one leg or poke their tongue out slightly when they are bluffing, and in this way you can learn a lot about their strategy and how they play.When you
play poker online, tells become much less of an issue as you are not face to face with your opponents, so you can’t use this method to gauge their actions.At the same time of course, they can’t use it to gauge yours either, so the score is evened. How and when should you bluff? – This is a good question, and the only real answer to it is that you should only bluff when you feel that the other players will fold. After all the idea if you bluff at the times when most people will bluff you are less likely to gain from it than you will if you bluff at other times instead. For example, most people will bluff when there is a big pot to be won. While bluffing in these situations might sometimes be the appropriate thing to do, they are usually not. Bluffing is a deception; you are trying to look like you have something when you don’t. So try bluffing on a smaller pot for example and you may find yourself coming out on top. Having said all this, if you constantly bluff under the same circumstances then you will find yourself in the situation where people will start to learn your pattern, so it’s important to not be too regular in how and when you bluff. Maybe think about bluffing in situations where other players wouldn’t think of doing so, bluff from an early position, don’t take extra cards, or bluff when you have drawn 3 cards and not when you’ve drawn 1. It’s in these unusual situations that people will think there’s no possible way you could be bluffing and may fold giving you the win.

Uncle Leo

My Uncle passed away yesterday......he lived down the street from my grandfather and I basically grew up going from house to house in Lawrence, MA. All my older relatives are starting to pass away and we are starting and growing our families now. The only unfortunate thing was that he had to see two of his daughters pass away before him. One had passed away from cancer and one from debilitating M.S. I'm sure that nobody wants to see any of their children die before them (that is my greatest fear) and he had to suffer the loss of two.

I knew it was going to be soon. He had a form of cancer and bad blood clots in his leg. I was not aware that it was as bad as it was until basically a couple of months ago. He was the De facto patriarch of the family after Grandfather passed away in '98. I didn't visit him in the bad state he was in for the last few months...I called my cousin (his youngest son who is my age) and apologized but he actually set me at ease "Don't beat yourself up about that...he didn't want a big deal about it anyway"...he put me at ease with that and I just sort of started to cry....of course after I choked up and told him I would see them this weekend and hung up the phone. This guy was an awesome uncle....he taught me to fish, camp, water ski, cross country ski and winter camping......and enjoy the outdoors for all its worth. I want to remember him as the bourbon sipping uncle that tied fishing flies to relax. I remember him with his magnifying glasses tying flies for what seemed hours upon hours at his cabin in the woods. He used to take my cousin and I camping with the Boy Scouts for weekends during the summer. In the White Mountains of New Hampshire. That is where I learned to fly fish for trout and then fry them up in Bacon grease left over from the morning breakfast. Let me tell you....there is nothing better than fresh trout fried in bacon grease....with the mountain air.....no less than 10 fish would suffice. My uncle was a big Lithuanian guy....and his son soon became another big Lithuanian guy. He was a straight talking no bullshit guy that loved nothing more than to go fishing and camping. He took his son and I night fishing in his boat on that lake on the N.H.-Maine border quite often and I never realized how important that was to my growing up. We caught pickerel, perch, and small mouth bass...some where almost trophy sized. I never knew what Lithuanian was until I learned by looking on a map when I was young. I have a real mix of nationalities in family history....I noticed this tiny country that used to be part of the U.S.S.R. back then...wacky.
I never knew anybody could derive pleasure from tying fishing flies for endless hours....it seemed so boring. During the days at the camp we would go fishing and water skiing off the back of his motor boat. I even learned to drop one ski and continue on one for the rest of the summer. Every night he go to his rocking chair while we played card games at the kitchen table in the cabin....he would get his bourbon and get his fly tying kit out. He had thousands of them...all different colors and he practiced constantly. Out of that love of a boring hobby came a lifetime of fun. He bought books on it and studied about the intricacies of threading the perfect fishing fly....
I never really thought about how similar it was to spending countless hours in front of a game (that's what Poker is....just a game) trying to fish for a prize....all while spending countless hours studying and practicing techniques and strategies. My uncle was a great part of my growing into the man I am today....and for that I thank him forever. Thank you Uncle Leo....R.I.P.

2009 Goals

I didn't really set any Poker Goals in 2008 (Due to R.E. woes and additions to family and moving etc...etc.)
.......but accomplished more than I thought I would by far.

1. First MTT win (900 entry on Stars for 2,250.00)
2. First online 1,000.00 plus prize
3. Multiple 1,000.00 plus cashes in MTT's and Made a decent amount of final tables in MTT's overall
4. First ever 2,000.00 plus prize
5. First legitimate Bloggament win (during B.B.T. for 550.00 plus)
6. Get into B.B.T. T.O.C. and made a decent profit in the B.B.T.
7. Cashed in a Sunday Major (Bodog's 100K is still a Sunday major in my book....made it 13th place)
8. Made some cash from advertising on blog and use it for Poker bankroll
9. Met some more bloggers in person and actually played poker against/with in a live setting
10. Made a sizable profit on poker and poker related stuff for the year
11. Paid some sizable bills with Poker profits....

OK...so Poker Goals for 2009.....

Everything I did in 2008 plus :

1. Make final table in Bodog 100K
2. Cash in the PokerStars Sunday majors especially the PokerStars Million
3. Cash in the WCOOP
4. Enter a MTT at the World Poker Finals, The World Poker Classic (both at Foxwoods) and or the W.S.O.P (This is the most unrealistic of poker goals for a father of two toddlers and bills up the wazoo)
5. Cash in an FTOPS tourney (I still cannot do anything on FTP except win a bloggament but hey....this is a goal list right?)
6. Win a 1,000 plus entry MTT on PokerStars or FTP
leading to this....a 5K plus cash!
7. Make BBT TOC again...and nice profit overall again
8. Make Bodonkey TOC
9. Reverse my STT tilt on PokerStars and FTP leading to more deep final table cashes in MTT's and better overall final table play (top 3)
10. Pay more and larger bills with Poker profits (basically poker has become a part time job in a way...much more enjoyable than a job)
11. Do not let Poker interfere with any family time (This one is hard but I am by nature a night-owl type so I have been able to do this in 2008 and will continue in 2009 unless the U.I.E.G.I.A.UGLYF'NL. prevents me)
12. Play some live cash games at Foxwoods and Mohegan Sun (see #4)
12a. Win a Charity Poker tournament (this was done in the past but when I went back to one a couple of years ago I saw the worst poker ever...and the people who played the worst still won. Anyway there are still some good card rooms that are popular in N.H. and they are starting to get a little bit better....they also have W.S.O.P satellites etc.)
12b. Continue to change my play and adapt like I decided to do in 2008 (obviously this involves implementing concepts from reading and studying books, strategy, training videos, and hand histories)
12c. Have a good outlook....remain positive....no matter what the situation is....it does make a difference

I'm off to a good start with two final tables in 2009 on Bodog and Stars (along with a satellite win into the Sunday Mil this coming Sunday)....and the 15$ Turbo STT's on Bodog....donklicious!

So good luck at the tables and I hope everybody makes their poker goals this year...and maybe...just maybe.....one of us can final table a massive online or live final table!!!!!!!!

Good Sunday on Stars

Bing :

PokerStars Tournament #129737080, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $25.00/$2.50
2007 players
Total Prize Pool: $50175.00
Tournament started 2009/01/04 20:00:00 ET

Dear DoubleDave,

You finished the tournament in 59th place.
A $80.29 award has been credited to your Real Money account.

You earned 140.11 tournament leader points in this tournament.

Bang :

PokerStars Tournament #131673728, No Limit Hold'em
Super Satellite
Buy-In: $10.70/$1.00
72 players
Total Prize Pool: $770.40
Target Tournament #131669903 Buy-In: $215.00
3 tickets to the target tournament

Tournament started 2009/01/04 16:50:00 ET

Dear DoubleDave,

You finished the tournament in 1st place.
You qualified to play in Tournament #131669903 and are automatically registered for it.
See Tournament #131669903 Lobby for further details.

If you choose to unregister from this tournament your account will be credited
with $215.00 Tournament dollars. Tournament dollars can be used to buy into
any tournament.

Boom :

PokerStars Tournament #129737024, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $10.00/$1.00
972 players
Total Prize Pool: $22720.00
Tournament started 2009/01/04 19:15:00 ET

Dear DoubleDave,

You finished the tournament in 6th place.
A $965.61 award has been credited to your Real Money account.

You earned 255.92 tournament leader points in this tournament.

So fuggin' close.....



Quite a good Sunday for me....while most of you were practicing bad bankroll management Ala this......I was avoiding my inevitable FTP bankroll burning by avoiding it completely...and you know what? I'll probably avoid it completely until the BBT4 rears its beautifully ugly head. Last year I missed the first month because of real estate recovery......but not this year! Props to whoever made that banner by the way....I saw 'The Dark Knight' this past weekend and it was everything I hoped for. This part of the movie was classic...thereby making a classic banner. Looks like the work of Mookie. Sorry about not pimping this Goat...but things got hectic here during the holidays....you know how it is with 5 kids or whatever you're up to now. So anyway among other Bankroll destroying tourneys....I've been playing at Bodog a lot. Even more now that the Bodonkey is over. I made a run at the 100K again yesterday to no avail. Lets just say that I was about to triple up with about 340 people left until an ace on the river dashed all hopes of going deep two weeks in a row. I guess I'll have to enter into some of those satellites and build up some tourney bankroll bucks that are so sought after on Bodog. Again...I'm not in any hurry about going back to Fukk Tilt Puker. I must include the following banner brought to us by AlCanthang and the wonderful people at FTP..........BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just in case this doesn't get big head excited...........let the following get the little head excited! (this picture does so many things for me)



One more thing on a serious note....

I was getting caught up on other peoples holiday scores and whatever and saw this happen to someone in the blogosphere......not something you want to hear about but something that we should all know about....and we can all do something about if possible......

VinNay :

Calling out the Bloggers

I know I owe a winter gathering trip report, but something more important has come up.

A friend of mine, Jeff, has had an unfortunate Christmas. His home was destroyed by a fire on Christmas morning and declared a total loss. Fortunately, he was not home at the time and no one was hurt, but he did lose his cat Maurice, along with all of his possessions. The fire was started in his tenants apartment, and quickly spread throughout the house. To make matters worse, he was just laid off from his long time manufacturing job.

Jeff is a home game poker player, and reader of many of your blogs. He is a RPG'er, and beer drinker. He is a hard-working fucker who has battled dyslexia his whole life. He's a toker, and he only has one ball. He's a flyers fan (I guess I can forgive him for that). He's one of the most generous people I know. And he needs some help.

We have set up a site to help raise some money for him to help get him back on his feet. If you can give that would be great, but please do me a favor and link up the site for me.

http://helpjeffout.blogspot.com

I'll owe you one. I'll pimp your affiliate codes, I'll pimp your blogs, I'll buy you drinks at the Bash or next gathering, whatever you want, just ask.

We are also going to be having some benefits at local Buffalo establishments over the next few weeks (details forthcoming on donation site). We will be raffling some good shit away, there will be open bars, live music and other fun. If your so inclined, come on up or down to Buffalo, you can crash at my place and we can hit the poker room at Seneca Niagara.

Runnin' Deep in the 100K.......

Cashed in the Guinness book of world records tourney on PStars to start the day........




Ready to cash with In the Bodog 100k (first Sunday major cash ever...bought into it on a whim. I decided long ago if I was ever to buy in directly into a Sunday Major it would be the Bodog 100K.....I just have a better shot at cashing in it than any other Sunday major...and it's only 109.00 which is about half the others. 64 left.. :)





27 left....then me against dipthrong.....



Then I have Ad-Kd against a worse hand and chip up big time......



Then the final table curse......(Patriots win 13-0 and still don't make the playoffs...sigh...that would be an omen for me)




Standard raise with A-A to roughly 3X BB.....


I don't know what's up with the pic above....looks like I was getting ready for doom and the PStars window showed up......so.......
guy calls with Ks-Jc....and hits a J on the flop....then puts me all in and of course hits a K on the river...then says "I knew what he had but I called anyway...." Typical douche bag comment after the fact......I had 55k and he had 100k+ to start so....good call?....I think not.......

I placed 13th....the Patriots win 13-0 and don't make the playoffs due to the stunningly bad New Jersey Jets....goddamn they fucking suck.....Retire now and preserve the last of your dignity Brett....Jeezuz friggin' Christ......

Oh so anyway....douche bag came in 2nd and dipthrong came in first....of course!!!!

Monday Misc....Tuesday boozeday....pre-holiday post

Well the Bodonkey is over....but I'm looking forward to the next one with anticipation. Kudos (I don't really use that phrase a lot but kudos nonetheless) to Nadia and Smokkee. I played much better this time around than the last series. I had 2nd place finish to MiamiDon in a very nice battle at least between Don, New, and myself...but Don completely dismantled me heads up. So I missed the TOC by another final table or cash. I think I blew my chances in the final 3 qualifier tourney where we were down to 5. I decided to get all my chips in on a flush/inside straight draw against S.T.B. and my decision while having a ton of outs turned sour. Now that I think of it..it was kind of a bad decision because I bet....S.T.B pushed....and I called. So good game me and better game S.T.B. The TOC itself was a great contest....made all the more exciting with bets on different players (I placed an early bet on CBags because I assumed that he would make it into the TOC...but you can't take back your bets after you place them. That my friends is not a good use of money when the player you bet on is not in the TOC. I was also one of those people who was available to bet on but didn't make it....so that situation should be fixed next time. I suppose these things (blogger tourneys/competitions/series) are made to be improved on anyway. Trial and Error and after the Trials and Errors are done we all still win...prizes....cash....buyins to bigger tourneys.....and good 'ol fashioned fun.
Who the hell isn't going to take the odds on Chad with 10-1. I know there are a lot of people upset with missing that bet. With that said...what a long tourney that was! I think the whole tourney took just over 5 hours....and I stayed up for the whole thing....because I was sweating the 25 bet on TonySoprano....and he didn't disappoint (Just ask him!). I completely refurbished my Donkey low buy in bankroll on one bet. Gotta love Bodog for that. The interface really isn't as bad as everybody is saying. It's been improving steadily and no doubt will continue. If you think the play on Bodog is bad you should see a couple of the other new sites.....I mean its stellar compared to some of the newer sites....seriously. Overall the whole series was profitable with the two bounties (one from W.o.W.Donk and one from the ghost of Rizen) I claimed and the second place finish. I used one to buy in to the 100K a few weeks back. I was doing well in the tourney but I missed an opportunity to really cash with a good bluffing hand on a raggy board. I had As-Ks on a board of 2s-3s-5d. So having that board with a flush draw and gut draw (anybody seeing a leak pattern here?) I went all in and was called by K-K....the turn was another 5 and the river....K. All freakin' four kings fell and I was crippled. I went out 103 of 710 or so...I think the cash bubble was 90 or 95. I used the other 109T$ for some other DS tourneys. I haven't had a large cash on Bodog since I came in second in a 10K...for 1550.00 Mostly I've been pretty busy with a 2 kids lately....it's hard to even plan for any weekend tourney that starts in the afternoon. I have no idea why I've had all my bigger cashes this year...maybe all the reading and practicing has made a difference....but with my second daughter being born this year....I'm still way ahead of any other year playing tourneys online. Usually people stop or at least slow down their poker playing....I guess mine has increased a good amount. I fall in that category of person that can't really go out on weekend nights anymore (wife goes to bed early....and the kids eventually do to) so I guess that has a lot to do with it. At 9:00PM I am ready to rock.....and now that the results are mostly good...the wife doesn't get upset when she sees me sitting at the dining room table at 4 or 5 AM (and the 10,000Bud Light empties) because she knows that it's probably going to be the biggest poker prize yet. That bodes well for everybody in the house and it has been good this year. Even that 100K that I was playing in was full of distractions with my parents stopping in and causing the kids to get all crazy. It was fun however to see my Father get a kick out of my tourney run.....he was watching me and asking questions for like 2 hours. It actually made me concentrate a little bit more...but alas I did not cash and he saw me get knocked out. I let out a loud yell "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT" and got yelled at by the wife and Mother. What a surprise....I've been cashing out my winnings lately paying large bills and when I get a chance to make a very large cash I'm getting hassled by both the wife and Mother...LOL. Anyway I see that FTP finally got their shit together and award tourney dollars to people who can't play in certain tourneys. How f'n long did that take? I recently started to donk around on FTP again and the RNG still is totally allergic to me. I can't f'n get any breaks on FTP...none at f'n all. I'm profitable on all other sites (mostly this year of course)...except FTP. Gimme a fuckin' break. That's why I'm just indifferent while suffering bad beats....they are all in low buy-in tourneys but I'm still sick of it. There are only a few people in the blogosphere who are even profitable on FTP...that is no coincidence kids. I would like to know exactly why there are only a small percentage of bloggers that are even profitable on FTP (Speaking about tourneys here)....and why there are 95% that aren't. I'm sure someone will give me a smart ass answer but the overall numbers don't lie anyway. Wow, this has turned into a year retro-review type post........

I didn't get to go to the Winter blogger gathering...I probably shouldn't have been there last year either but we all need a break from everyday stress. This year was not even an option unless I won a 10K first prize or something. Thank god those R.E. issues are a thing of the past for me...I beat the deadlines this past year for everything by like a week each time. Sell condo. in North Conway, NH.....Sell former house (crappy town...nice little house)...Buy nice old house in a great town (one that doesn't have drug dealers and sex offenders within a rocks throw).....refinance out of an interest only loan for said nice old house in nice town. That doesn't include the new daycare and school for daughters as well as new job for wife in new school system X2 (laid off from teacher job that she had after first year we moved into house....then got new teacher job in town High School this year). That all is why when I do occasionally get out I may get a little out of my skull. If any of that stuff happened by a week later....any of it....I would have been financially ruined and would have probably required a bail out from my parents (we don't want that kind of stuff on our conscience...believe me). So I beat the odds this past year in life...and poker. Let me tell you people that are about to have a baby....It's the best thing to happen to you but the worst thing to ever happen to your wallet. You think you have it all figured out with one and then the second comes along and doubles everything in bills etc. I am not trying to talk anybody out of having children...believe me I couldn't see life without both of them...but you are going to have to do a little planning before the whole decision.

Is there another BBT in out future....maybe during the spring leading up to the W.S.O.P???? Al???? I'll tell you what...I think a few people left with some health issues after the last one...so maybe the next one should be only 2 months instead of 3. Maybe even 1 month....maybe In May?

Man I'm just dying to get to either Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun....I need a overnight mini-vegas like binge at either one. I am currently owed such so I will be cashing in hopefully during the late winter. I hate being controlled by bills but then again since I am currently living in my nice old house and nice town it's not so bad.....just fire up the 'ol laptop PC baby!!!!!

One last thing about Politics....it's all in who you know...especially in Massachusetts. The latest headlines in Mass. and other states are just the lowest rung of the barrel. There fuggin' people are worse than anybody they represent...wasting tax payer money for their own gain. Most of them seem to be Democrats....probably like 95% of them....it's like the few percentage of bloggers that are profitable on FTP....LOL. The Republican party is done for the next 8 years that much is sure. Fine....lets get some serious political types for a 3rd party....please.

I should add like a thousand links to all the people mentioned in this post..but you know what....I'm feeling a little lazy....after all I'm not exactly feeling stressed about much anymore and I'm certainly not going to stress out about that. So Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it...and happy holidays to the rest!!!!

Whacked

I hired Tony Soprano to take out da gahbidge.....


And dats what he did...paying me homage in the range of 250 clams baby.......If he didn't pay..........he would pay!!! you know what I mean....BITCHES!!!! You stoopid bastid....you was supposed to win with da flush.....not da Full Boat....jeez......you gonna have ta pay some more....I'll have ta make ya an offah you can't refussse.....

Ghey blog thing....

I blame the W.o.W. donkey......

American Cities That Best Fit You:

65% Denver 65% Portland 60% Honolulu 55% Austin 55% Las Vegas

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

The Royal Spoil

Check out this hand....I flopped the nut straight on the flop, behind to the full house on the turn, and river the heart Royal Flush....It was pretty early in the 90-man STT.....

Table info:

Dealer

Seat 1: DDionysus ($2,895)

Posts small blind $25

Seat 3: Hard Earned ($3,235)

Posts big blind $50

Seat 4: jtrain76 ($1,805)
Seat 5: EZYMONEY4ME ($3,010)
Seat 6: CS224 ($2,660)
Seat 7: steeplejack2 ($6,230)
Seat 8: Haklay ($6,105)
Seat 9: good_ish ($6,105)

Dealt to DDionysus

Check odds

Preflop: (Pot: $75)

FOLD EZYMONEY4ME
FOLD CS224
FOLD steeplejack2
FOLD Haklay
RAISE good_ish, to $175
CALL DDionysus, $175
FOLD Hard Earned
FOLD jtrain76

Check odds

Flop: (Pot: $425)

BET good_ish, $425
CALL DDionysus, $425

Check odds

Turn: (Pot: $1,275)

BET good_ish, $1,275
RAISE DDionysus, to $2,295 and is ALL-IN
CALL good_ish, $1,020

River: (Pot: $5,865)

Showdown:

SHOWS DDionysus

SHOWS good_ish

DDionysus wins the pot of $5,865 with a Royal Flush

Have a good time in Vegas.......

BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is some Vegas memories from last year. I was in the most stressful period of my life and had not really been away from home for about 2.5 years so here you have it :

Poker and Miscellaneous Stuff: The Blogger gathering and misc. stuff Pt.1

Poker and Miscellaneous Stuff: Blogger gathering and Misc. Stuff Pt.2

I tried to get my last minute horses in via Biggestron for Sat. Venetian/WPBT/bloggergathering...............we'll see if I can at least get in on the action from afar....

BodogBlogSwag

The Blogfather of Poker and Smokkee Battle Bodog Bloggers!

Do you have what it takes to knock out a poker blogger legacy?

On Tuesday December 9th, there will be a T$109 bounty on the head of Iggy, The Blogfather of Poker, and on Thursday December 11th, there will also be a T$109 bounty on the head of Smokkee, the Bodog blogger tournament series host and the ONLY poker blogger to successfully seize his own bounty!

Both T$109 bounties are to play in Bodog's $100,000 Guaranteed Poker Tournament that occurs each Sunday at 4pm. With one of the biggest overlays in the industry, the value of this tournament is literally unbeatable. Whatever your skill set as a poker player, it's a perfect chance to win a fat cash payout.

Tournament news, recaps and details are available at the official tournament series site at bodogbloggertournament.com

You don't want to miss these tournaments! Download Bodog poker and register for this series today!

May the luckiest poker bloggers take the T$109 bounties!

The Bodog Poker Blogger
Yahoo ID: bodogdirectory


Tune into Buddy Dank Radio for live tournament recaps and updates while you play at buddydankradio.com

IITWI......In It To Win It

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

All bloggers can play in this exclusive online poker tournament.

Registration code: 026745

2000 years later history repeats

Gnome-o-gram: Mortgage Bailout, Roman Style

There is but scant innovation in human folly. Every generation convinces itself that it's living in a “new era”, where “all the rules have changed”, and consequently stumbles into the same potholes which swallowed countless ancestors. Knowing some history (rare today) and paying serious attention to its lessons (rare in any age) is an excellent way to avoid all-too-predictable calamities. Take the current woes in the credit markets, triggered in part by government meddling in the mortgage market. Certainly, this must be an unforeseen consequence of our twenty-first century fibre-optic globally connected financial system, with computer-modeled financial derivatives, risk management strategies, and all the rest of the hooey cooked up by all those bright fellows on Wall Street—how could they have possibly anticipated the mess they were getting us into?

Well, by reading Tacitus, for one thing. In Book VI of The Annals, Tacitus describes how runaway mortgage lending, combined with government meddling with interest rates and loan terms resulted in a credit crunch and an eventual collapse in real estate prices. All of this happened in A.D. 32 during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius.

Note that even “evasions” and “strange artifices” (credit default swaps, anybody?) played their part when this whole sordid mess blew up more than twenty centuries ago, and also that the form of the “bailout”—injecting liquidity into the banking system—employed by Emperor Tiberius was precisely the same as that cobbled together by the geniuses in charge of things today.

Other gnome-o-grams